my life lately has been a rollercoaster...

i have dated for the first time and been dumped as well, i have done football and am about to start track tuesday. i started school for the first time and have met many challenges i could only have dreamed of whilst sitting in my room at home the month prior.

in that time i have achieved a 4.0 gpa, many new friends, have become known as the Yo-yo man and now have people i dont know talking to me in the halls.

life puzzles me most of all in love... i have never been comfertable around girls i found attractive until only recently, and even now i cant seen to muster the courage to say what i want to. i envy the people who i hate in some ways... people that can walk up to a girl and wisk her off her feet without a sweat, whereas i cannot seem to even be brave enough to talk.

i also envy the people who can do for themselves without a second thought. it takes me an eternity to do something selfish, which most of the time leads to my loss and the gain of a friend.

i have found i have 2 sides to myself now...

one of which would strike the people in my way and take that which i desire, and the other holds me back telling me that i care about them more than myself.

someday i may become what i hate most... and sadly the side that wrote this will not be there to hold me back anymore.

[added]

im swearing off girls for as long as possible... too many bad things come from relationships... for me at least. now i will try not to envy those who find someone.